Phosphorescence

Image credit: Goodreads

After the profound and intense way that On Not Climbing Mountains made me feel, I was keen to keep that feeling of self-awareness and emotional clarity going. So, I plucked Phosphorescence off the shelf: a book that I have been meaning to read for ages but have never seemed to be in the right mood or headspace for. Until now.

It’s hard to articulate just how good it feels to get into a good reading groove. While I haven’t stopped reading at any real point, I realised only recently that there was this underlying feeling of stagnation that was accompanying my bouts of reading. But now it feels like I have broken the surface of a body of water I didn’t know I was submerged in. When I read right now, I experience relief and liberation. I’ve been trying to identify the catalyst that stirred up these feelings and it finally came to me this morning. It’s a universal fact that is so obvious we constantly forget about it, take it for granted, and render it invisible. Variety. Up until maybe a month ago, I was on a total fantasy kick and by the time I finished Throne in the Dark I was so burnt out on fantasy that I didn’t even realise. Then I switched tracks with some slice-of-life novels and the Claire Thomas one for bookclub and suddenly my brain was reacting differently. We all know that the occasional break in routine or ‘spicing things up’ is good for revitalising you, but I don’t think we ever really realise just how much a small change can affect brain activity until we mentally catch ourselves in the action of changing it up. It’s remarkable and, aptly, the theme of Julia Baird’s Phosphorescence, which I absolutely adored!

Julia Baird is a renowned author, award-winning journalist, mother, and cancer survivor devoted to finding awe and helping her readers find it too. As humans, we are complex, erratic, and chaotic masses of organic matter and thoughts, living lives that are often made dark by depression, trauma, anxiety, illness, bad luck, poor choices, loss, grief, and a Pandora’s box of et cetera. But we live in a world that provides resources for coping with all of this. Whether it be the natural wonders of hearing birdsong while watching the sun rise, or seeing the ocean light up at night with its bioluminescent inhabitants, or the ones that we shape ourselves: art, relationships, community, religion, there is awe to be found everywhere and it’s important for us to stop for a moment or two every day, find these awe pockets, and take the time to admire and appreciate them. We might be surprised at just how much it changes the course of our day.

Phosphorescence is an exploration and celebration of a whole mass of stuff. Part autobiography and part explorative essay, it’s written with a voice that is intelligent, curious, and down to earth, instantly making it relatable and engaging: like having a long conversation with a creative critical thinker. Baird shares her own experiences of darkness and celebrates the memorable moments in nature, with friends, within communities that helped light her way through them. It’s a book that tells us stuff we technically know but then backs it up with statistics and personal scenarios that really hammer home the point, inspiring moments for us to look back at our own dark times and feel the dawning of realisation spread though us as we recall going through the same mental and emotional phases she describes.

Image credit: Penguin Random House

It’s tricky to articulate why it’s so stirring and profound because, similar to Thomas’ On Not Climbing Mountains, it tells a lot of different stories about a lot of different things in a voice that is reporting with feeling. What I can say with certainty is that this book made me feel wonderful: it’s its own little pocket of awe that I am so glad that I took the time to enjoy. Praise for Julia Baird!

Author: Julia Baird, 2020

Published: Fourth Estate, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers, Australia, 2020