The Art of Asking

I guess –no, I am sure- that there are hundreds of thousands of millions who, like me, have this stubbornly and stoically rooted idea in their brains that you should be able to do everything yourself: that you don’t need help. Of course, this is utter bullshit and the people like me know it, but it’s very hard to dislodge our minds from that rusted track. This mentality comes back and bites you, whether in the form of getting caught walking home, unjacketed and umbrella-less in a downpour because you didn’t accept a lift from a colleague, or missing an important deadline because you said no to the offer of some-else’s internet. 

It takes a strong voice to chip away at the rust that binds us to our mentality-tracks. Usually, it’s our own, but there are some that just have that punch behind them to get through to us. Amanda Palmer is one such voice, as I discovered reading her autobiography, The Art of Asking. 

The book chronicles Amanda’s trials and tribulations (of which there are many) on the road to be an artist and a rock star. But underlying this autobiographical surface is a self-help (for want of a better word) story of discovery about both sides of humanity: helpful and naysaying. She talks about the lessons she has learned about asking for help and receiving it from tough, but humble beginnings as an eight-foot living statue, to half of a punk-cabaret duo, The Dresden Dolls, to being an official musician with a label, to being an ‘independent’ (again, for want of a better word because her musical endeavours and achievements grow from the help of her friends, family, and fanbase) artist. Each story she chronicles has a profound meaning and purpose to the overall message of the book, making it so much more than a rock star’s ramblings about life on the road. 

I am not usually a fast reader, but I absolutely powered through this. The main thing I accredit this to is Palmer’s writing style. The complete tone of the book is one of conversation and discussion, making it wonderfully accessible and digestible. Keeping in mind that my last review was A Tale of Two Cities, the joy that is this book was only heightened by its simple and straightforward tone and the short and simple stories it regales. 

The unbroken line between author and audience is blurred and then transcended as Palmer makes is clear that she is on the same level as the reader. Some of her phrases may have a bit more of a poetic edge, which is all artistic and lovely, but ultimately the stories she tells and the way she tells them is very down-to-earth and real. She could be sitting across the couch or table from you as you’re reading, telling you everything. It’s because of this tone and the simplicity of the stories and anecdotes she writes about that makes them all the more poignant and you all the more eager to turn the pages. 

On every level, this is something exciting about the contents of this book, be it rock star anecdotes that people like me only fantasise about, or suspenseful stories that you need to get to the end of to find out whether a heart gets broken. 

But I think the most wonderful thing about this book was that it spoke to me. Without knowing me, Palmer managed to dislodge some of the rust that holds me in a stubborn state of “no that’s ok, I’ll be fine on my own”. During my reading of this, I accepted help from people on a number of occasions (one of which saved me from an hour-long trek at midnight in the pouring rain and freezing cold, without jacket or umbrella, for which I had already steeled myself). 

I would heartily recommend that this be the next book you read; even if, like me, you’re not a real Amanda Palmer fan, this may just make a convert out of you! 

Author: Amanda Palmer 

Published: 2014